Lilac Lily Pads : A loser’s Dream

I no longer have a direction, its almost like I'm a wayward arrow hoping to hit something, kill something, be useful but all that happens is a quiet thud as I belly flop into the slush ... Hee hee I used the word thud, too big for an arrow but anyway. Normal relationships are almost impossible to sustain, and I'm not even talking about the opposite sex here, I've realised that if do not do something to jeopardize a smooth sail my work is but incomplete. A girl once told me that I push people away evrytime I start to open up... Wonder what made her say that but guess there is some truth in it ... Another person once told me that I'm the nicest when I'm not talking... He wondered why I had to insult someone before I paid them a compliment. ... Honestly I didn't even know that I do that ... Random rambling ...

I'm not too sure where I stand now ... A lady once told people called her a feminist because she expressed an opinion different from a door mat ... I pity her, she feels she was being different by not conforming but the irony is that she was conforming to an alternative route ...

I always wanted to keep a jaguar as a pet... I settled for a dog instead ... I always wanted a perfect relationship I ended up with a hole riddled soul ... I wanted to go to hell n I had to settle for earth... Damn underachieving seems to be part of me Even when I decide to do somethin about it the plan goes kaput ...

Friends I say, the only thing worth the pain ... They may suck at giving advice but its worth it, they get u into trouble but its still worth it, Dey may owe u money but its still all good cos u owe them too ...