THE TRUTH- THE RISE AND FALL OF “NOTHING”
(For those of u who think this might be entertaining go forth and read at your own peril)




Hmmm now the title is just for the freaking sake of having a title ...and anybody who thinks otherwise may not read this article. I was supposed to write an article on the Monfort trip but I was at an all time sugar high...and my memory sucks, all I remember are the hard boiled eggs and the open air baths........ (ah the voyeuristic bastardsall for the sake of boyhood)and yes my dears the stupidity and blasphemy of so called sports meet was believably unbelievably now that my inconsistent chatter has bored you all to death I shall now move on to what really happened.

The following is true as far as my all not knowing goes.

Hmm… the real reason for me to write something would definitely not be to entertain you but most definitely to entertain myself .Yes I m an egoist…lets leave that at that unless of course you are one yourself. The Gandhian philosophy of non-violence and passivity interests me a lot and I am a fervent follower of this principle. I managed to get through my 2 years in Little Flower just by saying “Peace my brother”; regardless of their gender, to whosoever I passed by. It rather helped in a no good way, which was good for me since I wasn’t in a mood to change the world. however I would advice all those reading this to kindly store it away after you have finished, this could be worth something in say maybe another twenty years. However, you might want to be a bit more patient for the simple reason -the basic non-existence of my literary skills. Ah now for those of you who are already confused fear not for the worst has passed. Now the serenity of my low wattage begins.

I‘ll try to keep my words short for the less prepared with a dictionary besides the fact that I don’t really have an excellent vocabulary. “My years as an Idiot” that would make an interesting read, wouldn’t it; but sorry to disappoint it is a work in progress and will hopefully be out when I’m six feet under…hmm now isn’t that the chatter of an untrained mind. I am deviating from the work at hand “creating a masterpiece to be read by the masses of people who won’t understand a word of what I’ve written”. Hah sweet irony…How I love thee. However a work that was in progress has thankfully come to a conclusive end (or has it). Yes, you my Watson have guessed right “my days as a doodle drawing dumb ass” (to very delicately put it).

In college I always traveled in sleeper class (like the so many others who spend the night doing various things too secretive and uncanny to reveal for print) Yes, I was always napping in class and the rest of the time I spent doodling Vinci’s DNA. Now I know there is miracle performing God (I still believe “too much of masti …to little dhyan…arre baba what’s with the gyan “Papua pass ho gaya” ”).For this unforgivable act of making a hopeless “shairrye”, I am formally quitting from the “shairrye” business it is definitely not for me. Funny it was bittersweet melodrama my whole time in our beloved LFJC…damn bastards…cut me out of this too .I’m no good at acting but I’m not complaining. I had good fun watching!!!

My first year was not exciting except for the last day when I was mauled by 20 guys for being funny at the wrong time (we Indians don’t get humor...As to why is still being debated). I was a sorry case of a lost puppy wanting attention desperately…(un)lucky for me I did get the attention from the wrong people …administration to be exact. So, so much for my first year in college, my second was not half as productive as my first but was productive enough to write about; the real reason being that I have a poor memory and I cannot remember half of the stuff that happened to me. Except for having “manna” drop down on me, (“manna” is a Hebrew word meaning what is this…in this case it was showers of blessings from our very own homely pigeons).

Ah, now we come to my second year where I actually didn’t go to college because of a series of fortunately unfortunate events that Loki showered upon me…it was so fucking brilliant…

I managed to attend college for a month or so and then came down with viral stayed home for 3 weeks (Brilliant!!! I tell u). My role as a part of the student committee was thoroughly unfulfilled …so much for the “powers vested in me” not like I missed it but worth the mention though. I happened then get well come to college for about a week or two and …(oh almost forgot!!!) then went to Balharsha for the Monfort sports meet where I was the honorary hog of our team (Food, Glorious Food)and also the official entertainer at the open air bath. Basically I’ve given a thorough understatement of the fun we actually had. Not to mention our misguided stupidity to a certain extent. Our oh so “grand” (????) entry back into college after the meet went royally unnoticed. Then I ate some delicious pani poori and had a nasty bout of yellow fever. Moreover, for the grand finale my buddy tells me to break a leg on my birthday and unbelievably, it literally happens. Good riddance to a great year at home (at least now I have some experience to help me cope with the unemployment I may face in the future…hah the fun in doing nothing…absolutely nothing).

Okay now I’ve got to stop writing my ramblings are going all over the place. For those of you who were just getting interested …sorry to disappoint .I unfortunately passed my exams and so I will not be joining you for the third year.

Bon jour Amis

P.S: This is to certify that the writer was completely and comfortably sane and was not under the influence of any mind altering substance or device during the duration of writing this “epic”.