My Random Experiment

This is for those of you who thought i was a conceited bastard... think again because for your kind information I am a shamelessly inconsiderate conceited bastard.This is getting unbelievable;i ask people to write about college and all they do is kiss ass. No I am not being rude, I am just being realistically uncomplicated and yes I will happily smack the behinds of those guilty of this outrageous stupidity till they glow red.

Okay now that was uncalled for but what the heck, at least now I have it out in the open and besides it is not my dirty linen. Now I have a silly notion, a very silly notion, in fact its is nothing more than a silly point but a notion in its very being. The point being that maybe I should be a little sentimental about leaving college. Isn't that what is expected of me but what the heck, like I care a rat's ass for what people actually think, besides if I did that I would be a sucker for Mills and Boons. Now, now, come back here....I didn't mean to offend you, I do feel sorry for you though; going through all that crap hoping for a real life romance which may never happen. I really miss a lot of things; not studying in a regular college has it perks but has more of a downside to it as well. Upside-"No fucking Principal... Downside-" No one to fucking piss off"...I feel like singing a sad sad love song but the ambiance around my cluttered work desk just doesn't cut it, besides its missing the vital ingredient; my shiny shower head. I personally have nothing against crooning in the shower, that way u can blame your muffled screwed up voice on the splattering water which keeps hitting u on the face. Anyway getting back to what i miss about regular college; We have no canteen so that means no red stained Chicken65 and stringy over cooked noodles but it also means that I now have absolutely nothing to smear on that obnoxious kid who keeps talking. I somehow don't miss the diarrhea which was always caused by the Bhel Puri... now i have stale Samosas and 2 day old Egg rolls. I however will miss sitting around the basketball court and listening to some truly fascinating stories which still leave me wondering as to whether I should be smiling or cringing at the punch line.Oh, and how can I ever forget the numerous talks on sex, now its not that we were perverted its just that its something that we happened to talk about. I stopped getting thrown out for napping though, turns out I stay awake much longer than the others so I end up staying in class only because there is no one else to throw out. An integral part of my life happens to be borrowing money which I never return and lending money which I never get back.I don't miss the lending part so much; turns out I can save quite a bit if I don't lend as much. If you are still reading this that must mean that i have committed a dreadful sin of keeping your interest up and owing to the boring lives you lead please do continue reading on; a little bit of excitement may do u some good.

i always wondered why every Nepali chowkidaar i came across was called Gorkha but somehow when I visited this place i left a few years ago he was the only person who remained unchanged. And also happened to be the only person who recognized my doggone face. Well maybe sometime in the near future I ll go back there; when I am famous which coincidently thanks to the incoherent indecipherable blabber of my mind which is still trying to create an unborn philosophy which will be of no use to this world... Now you may ask how does this make a difference ... the point is it doesn't and that is what makes it so wonderfully contenting to my soulless heart, I don't feel happiness and its definably nowhere near despair; Its a contenting numbness i can't explain. Its surreal how one's true feeling can appear in a random writing experiment. I know that mine just did ....

ROCK STEADY !!!! Almost there…


Hmmm … now I’m guessing that the most you will not relate to what I write, so a heads up, you aren’t supposed to. This is my idea of what happened and my views on what is what, so for those of you who are chronologically retarded please do not try to jog back your memory because I do not take any responsibility to any brain damage caused by reading what follows from this point onward. The reason for having a title is just for the sake of having a title and has absolutely nothing to do with what I am about to write. Now to be blatantly blunt I would not be too sure if people should not even be reading what I write its because it is blasphemous to the degree of being tragically underrated when it comes to my limited vocabulary but anyway moving on, before I bore you all to death with my constant inconsistent chatter.

This is the year when the first batch of the Associate Training Program will be passing out hopefully not on alcohol but with their Commerce degrees in hand. The concept is wonderful I think, three years you party and get drunk and then you get a degree while doing that, a dream come true for most of us. The year has been uneventful and we shall thank God for that, no unwanted pregnancies and no unnecessary bloodshed. A couple of road mishaps here and there but we all can live with that.

Now let me begin on what really happened.

The last year ended on a somewhat high note with the Annual Day at college, which surprisingly was not as lame we thought it would be. However a majority of us were disappointed with the lack of organization and the general management of the college. There was a dearth of activities to keep up the enthusiasm and college spirit. Even more unfortunate was the fact that most of people who took up the course didn’t even know the name of the college they were studying in. there was a lot of work to be done and we needed to do it as quickly and efficiently possible but thanks to the awesomely brilliant but wonderfully egoistic minds of the people we were at a standstill … Not here nor there …

A few enterprising souls took it on themselves to finish the task that should have been completed long before the course we are all part of even started. We needed to bring about an interest in the general well being of the college spirit. A revival of sorts was the called for not that it worked but it was a good start. The addition of another 90 odd students with the start of the new year was interesting to say the least. Now a new dilemma arose should we keep the fairytale alive for them or should we set their expectations right form day one. We decided to set their expectation in the right light, now this is not because we were aiming low but because we were aiming much higher.

The organization of events in college was only a partial success due to the lack of proper participation. Now coming to the lack of participation, I really don’t see how taking part in any event can be harmful to the well being of your wonderful soul. I feel that if there was better participation we could hold more events because then we would not be as pessimistic as we are about losing out on the funds needed to hold such events. I would love to see everyone participate in at least one event during the course of the academic year. The participation in such events not only boosts ones self-confidence but also allows for one to improve on ones perception of ones self.

The Fresher’s Party was a larger success then we had hoped for, a good attendance of the newbies, this by itself was a good enough reason to call it a success but the good food; good music and an overall awesome ambience made it a night to remember. I would like to hand out a special thanks to everyone who helped in organizing the event. Also, a mention to those of you who helped in selling the scarves and roses. I think you single handedly saved our very broke asses, awesome job guys. The dance floor rocked although I did wish that the DJ covered more genres of music. The food was unmistakably heavenly and left all of us drooling for more. The juniors did an awesome job with their costumes and stuck to the Retro theme, kudos to all of you.

We all seem to have been doing awesomely well in office, infact quite a few of them have managed to turn Process Developers which just shows that we outperform full timers or at least do as well as them. Lets us all continue to perform outstandingly at work.

This year was also the very first time, that our college took part in inter college events and fests and might I say a grand entry we made. The year started of with a big bang with Times Youthopia in which more then 60 colleges participated. Our college managed to get through to the finals in each and every event in which saw participation. Although there was only one event in which we managed to bag second place, I would call it an awesome success. We came from a virtually unknown college and beat many of the well-known colleges for a place in the finals. This made everyone sit up and take up notice.

The commerce fests were a cakewalk for the guys and gals from our college and we had a lot of success in the Business quiz, Elocutions, Debates, Case studies, Creativity contests and lots more. We won loads of accolades in Badruka and STORM at St. Pious and more recently we also bagged first position in the case study at Bhavans, not to mention another first position for Junkyard at Arthashastra, which was held at St.Francis.

The year is almost coming to an end and we did do a lot more then the last but I still feel we fell short by a large margin. The last chapter that is still to be written is the Farewell and lets all hope that, that is going to be the most exciting chapter of them all…

THE TRUTH- THE RISE AND FALL OF “NOTHING”
(For those of u who think this might be entertaining go forth and read at your own peril)




Hmmm now the title is just for the freaking sake of having a title ...and anybody who thinks otherwise may not read this article. I was supposed to write an article on the Monfort trip but I was at an all time sugar high...and my memory sucks, all I remember are the hard boiled eggs and the open air baths........ (ah the voyeuristic bastardsall for the sake of boyhood)and yes my dears the stupidity and blasphemy of so called sports meet was believably unbelievably now that my inconsistent chatter has bored you all to death I shall now move on to what really happened.

The following is true as far as my all not knowing goes.

Hmm… the real reason for me to write something would definitely not be to entertain you but most definitely to entertain myself .Yes I m an egoist…lets leave that at that unless of course you are one yourself. The Gandhian philosophy of non-violence and passivity interests me a lot and I am a fervent follower of this principle. I managed to get through my 2 years in Little Flower just by saying “Peace my brother”; regardless of their gender, to whosoever I passed by. It rather helped in a no good way, which was good for me since I wasn’t in a mood to change the world. however I would advice all those reading this to kindly store it away after you have finished, this could be worth something in say maybe another twenty years. However, you might want to be a bit more patient for the simple reason -the basic non-existence of my literary skills. Ah now for those of you who are already confused fear not for the worst has passed. Now the serenity of my low wattage begins.

I‘ll try to keep my words short for the less prepared with a dictionary besides the fact that I don’t really have an excellent vocabulary. “My years as an Idiot” that would make an interesting read, wouldn’t it; but sorry to disappoint it is a work in progress and will hopefully be out when I’m six feet under…hmm now isn’t that the chatter of an untrained mind. I am deviating from the work at hand “creating a masterpiece to be read by the masses of people who won’t understand a word of what I’ve written”. Hah sweet irony…How I love thee. However a work that was in progress has thankfully come to a conclusive end (or has it). Yes, you my Watson have guessed right “my days as a doodle drawing dumb ass” (to very delicately put it).

In college I always traveled in sleeper class (like the so many others who spend the night doing various things too secretive and uncanny to reveal for print) Yes, I was always napping in class and the rest of the time I spent doodling Vinci’s DNA. Now I know there is miracle performing God (I still believe “too much of masti …to little dhyan…arre baba what’s with the gyan “Papua pass ho gaya” ”).For this unforgivable act of making a hopeless “shairrye”, I am formally quitting from the “shairrye” business it is definitely not for me. Funny it was bittersweet melodrama my whole time in our beloved LFJC…damn bastards…cut me out of this too .I’m no good at acting but I’m not complaining. I had good fun watching!!!

My first year was not exciting except for the last day when I was mauled by 20 guys for being funny at the wrong time (we Indians don’t get humor...As to why is still being debated). I was a sorry case of a lost puppy wanting attention desperately…(un)lucky for me I did get the attention from the wrong people …administration to be exact. So, so much for my first year in college, my second was not half as productive as my first but was productive enough to write about; the real reason being that I have a poor memory and I cannot remember half of the stuff that happened to me. Except for having “manna” drop down on me, (“manna” is a Hebrew word meaning what is this…in this case it was showers of blessings from our very own homely pigeons).

Ah, now we come to my second year where I actually didn’t go to college because of a series of fortunately unfortunate events that Loki showered upon me…it was so fucking brilliant…

I managed to attend college for a month or so and then came down with viral stayed home for 3 weeks (Brilliant!!! I tell u). My role as a part of the student committee was thoroughly unfulfilled …so much for the “powers vested in me” not like I missed it but worth the mention though. I happened then get well come to college for about a week or two and …(oh almost forgot!!!) then went to Balharsha for the Monfort sports meet where I was the honorary hog of our team (Food, Glorious Food)and also the official entertainer at the open air bath. Basically I’ve given a thorough understatement of the fun we actually had. Not to mention our misguided stupidity to a certain extent. Our oh so “grand” (????) entry back into college after the meet went royally unnoticed. Then I ate some delicious pani poori and had a nasty bout of yellow fever. Moreover, for the grand finale my buddy tells me to break a leg on my birthday and unbelievably, it literally happens. Good riddance to a great year at home (at least now I have some experience to help me cope with the unemployment I may face in the future…hah the fun in doing nothing…absolutely nothing).

Okay now I’ve got to stop writing my ramblings are going all over the place. For those of you who were just getting interested …sorry to disappoint .I unfortunately passed my exams and so I will not be joining you for the third year.

Bon jour Amis

P.S: This is to certify that the writer was completely and comfortably sane and was not under the influence of any mind altering substance or device during the duration of writing this “epic”.